hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
