Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
