She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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