5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
