It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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