so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
