just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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