idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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