Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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