all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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