i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
