3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
