cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
