All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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