Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
