You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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