Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
