i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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