We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
