my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
