I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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