dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
