I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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