Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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