Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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