My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
