The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
