My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
