I love black thongs
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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