The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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