i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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