i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
