I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
