thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
