In the future we'll all be gay
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
