WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
