i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
