i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
