So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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