Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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