All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
