we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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