I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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