he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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