who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
