Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
