I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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