I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
handjob tips. give me some.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
