What a fucking waste of an outfit
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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