erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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