he thought i was a dude.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
